What Idiot Said Beauty Is Only Skin Deep?

I know, I know this phrase actually speaks to how placing too much emphasis on beauty is really superficial and everything, but I was thinking about this today in the context of marriage and I had to think that beauty, the true beauty of a person runs way deeper than skin level. 


It actually runs to the deep places in the heart of a person.  Now before you go putting words into my mouth like he's saying that his bride is not beautiful or something like that, that is not where I'm going at all, so put that thought out of your mind completely.  My bride is the most beautiful woman that I have ever known, or ever will know and truthfully I think that she grows more beautiful with each passing year.


There is another saying which says that love is blind, and I actually heard a version of that in the third Star Wars movie I watched today, (Actually it is the sixth installment of the series but episode three...I know confusing huh?) here is the transcript from the movie where Anakin and Padme are talking about being in love:


ANAKIN: You are so beautiful!

PADME: It's only because I'm so in love . . .

ANAKIN: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.

PADME: So love has blinded you?

ANAKIN: Well, that's not exactly what I meant . . . 


Love does not truly blind, but actually it is as we come to know our spouse in the deeper sense of the meaning that we come to truly love them, the real them.   This coming August my bride and I will have been married for twenty-four years.  I have spent now almost half of my life with this girl who chose me, and even though we've had our ups and downs, I am still madly and passionately in love with her.  I know I may end up regretting this but here goes, I do not look the same way that I did twenty-four years ago, and neither does Cheryl.  


There have been changes in our appearances, some more drastic than others, and that is all I'm going to say about that.  But what I really want to get at, is that even though there are changes that have taken place in our physical looks, I have to say that Cheryl's beauty, her true beauty is the real her, and that is her spirit.  Her beauty is more than skin deep, it is at the level of her soul, who she is as the person that God made her to be.  This is not to say that I don't find her outer beauty pleasing to my eyes, because I do, ask her, I tell her all the time, and I really mean it. She of course will roll her eyes at me, but she's been doing that for twenty-four years now why should she change?  


There is a movie called Shallow Hal, and in it the main character is given a gift to actually be able to see the true beauty of each girl he meets.  It's a funny movie, but truly poignant when the viewers realize that most of the people that we think of as the "beauties" which the world desires are truly the ugly people, and the people who never get a second look are the real beauties.  If only we were able to have this ability, the world would be such a different place I think.


Our society spends so much time on what is considered beautiful and everything, yet I'm afraid that we've actually missed it.  So many young ladies spend their lives trying to live up to what the world says they should look like, and never truly get it.  They walk around feeling like failures or unwanted because they don't match up to the images in the media and go through life trying desperately to please, only to find out that after all their efforts their beauty (the outside beauty) will begin to fade with time.  


I think that during every marriage counseling session the young "in love" couple should be shown wedding pictures of couples and then shown follow up pictures from like twenty-five years later.  Of course this may scare the young people, but may save some trouble later on too.  I'm thankful that God has blessed me with a beautiful bride who is so both inside and out, and look forward to many more years together to discover the beauty that has yet to be unveiled in her.

Being Smitten, Being In Deep Smit

Have you ever been head over heels in love with your spouse? Have you ever wished that they had never been born? Okay, maybe that's a little too harsh, but have you wanted to slap them upside their head? I know that in my marriage there have been plenty of opportunities for Cheryl and I to feel that way.

Marriage isn't an institution of unending bliss, no matter what you see on television and movies. Anytime you put two people into an enclosed space for any amount of time there will be friction. But not always, sometimes there are those moments where you believe you might actually be growing together in a good way too.

"Marriage is two ignorant people growing up together." (Joe McGee) I really believe that God kind of tricks us into getting married too. He makes women to be so attractive to the man's eyes, that he will actually do anything to have her. I remember years ago, I would sleep until the last possible moment then get up and race to work. Then I met Cheryl, and was I ever smitten. I was in deep smit (So I Married An Axe Murderer).

I went from waiting until the last possible moment to waking up, getting ready for work and meeting her at her convenience store at 6:00 a.m. (Every day.) I would do anything or go anywhere to get to spend any amount of time with her. I say that God tricks us because if we actually knew what marriage was going to involve, we'd never do it.

Marriage is hard, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Now don't get me wrong, marriage is great too, but it does take hard work to make it that way. I can honestly say that I grow more in love with my bride each and every day, even if she does something to rub me the wrong way. (Which doesn't happen very often any more.) But it is a choice to love her each and every time.

How about you in your marriage? Are you smitten with your spouse, or do you tend to see more of the negative traits than the positive ones? Do this exercise real quick, write down all of the things that they do that irritates you and on a separate piece of paper write down all of the things that they do that you like.

Then wad up that paper with your "dislikes" on it and throw it away. Tell the Lord that you are throwing that out, and you won't remember it any longer. Now, fold up your "likes" page and put it in your wallet or your purse and every time your spouse does something to irritate you, take that sheet out and remind yourself of those things that you like about them.

Come on folks, we're in the last days, and the enemy of our souls (The devil.) has got his imps working hard to destroy marriages, because he knows that if two get together against him, he doesn't stand a chance. Work at your marriage, go ahead get smitten, get in deep smit!