It's A Partnership Not A Dictatorship

Marriage should really be a partnership if it is going to work correctly. Neither marriage partner should act as if it is their way or the highway.

Truthfully when God handcrafted and fashioned Eve for Adam, He didn't do that so that Adam could dictate his will to Eve. Yet since the devil entered the picture that is how he has worked to pervert marriage. He wants one or both of the partners to try and force their will on the other.

Is it any wonder that marriages are failing? Jesus said it in Matthew 12:25 "...every household divided against itself will not stand." When one of the people in the marriage tries to force their will as the only way, and make their spouse bend to their will that becomes a dictatorship and loss of partnership.

I married someone who is completely different than me, and not just because she is a female and I'm a male either. Our personalities are extremely different. A friend of mine saw a bumper sticker in Texas that said, "When two of you are just alike, one of you is not needed." That is so true in marriage. My bride and I rarely see things the same way, and that really is a good thing. She sees things that I may not see when approaching a situation, just as I see things differently than her. When we pool our resources and put aside the "I'm right and you're wrong." way of thinking we become a much stronger unit. And this is where we become a success.

Is it any wonder that the enemy opposes marriage? Think about your own marriage, has it ever been opposed? Most of the time we are so close to the situation that we think it is our spouse that is the problem, when in all actuality it is not. I know in my marriage 9 times out of 10 I am the problem, but then the enemy whispers in my ear that it is her, and I begin to think, "Yeah, that's right. She's the problem, she never does..." and then he has me.

I think the greatest tool that any of us can use in marriage is the "I'm sorry, I was wrong." card. It cannot be used too much, and the greater part of valor is to have your marriage be a success, not a failure. And if it is a failure, more often than not it is because we have just quit trying. Marriage is hard work, and if you are going to enter into marriage you need to know that. It is great, I love being married to my bride, but we don't always get along, agree or hardly ever see things eye to eye. But we have made a commitment to stick it out, forgive quickly and often and work hard to be there for each other, not stick a knife in each other's backs.

Remember, if you are married you'd do well to quit trying to dictate to your spouse, and learn everything you can about how you can work together to make it succeed. Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!

Naked And Not Ashamed

I heard of a family member (who will remain nameless) that was talking about marriage to his girlfriend. When the dates were discussed, many of them were shot down due in fact to various hunting seasons he would be engaging in. Now when I heard this, I was absolutely blown away (like all of the hunting metaphors?) by the thought that a young man would rather go hunting than on his honeymoon.

Now I'm not trying to be crass here, but when I was younger and my wedding day was drawing closer and closer, I've got to admit that the honeymoon was one of the foremost things on my mind. And yes, if you actually talk to my bride now, she would say that this one thing has not been off of my mind in the past twenty-three years much either.

I have talked with many men over the years, and one of the things that still floors me is that so many men are not enraptured with the love of their wife. I often hear men talk about their brides as if they are either property, or just some person who is in their life who is no different than the local grocery store clerk. To not want to spend time with your bride just absolutely does not compute with me.

I married Cheryl twenty-three years ago, and us getting to be naked together is a benefit of that, but that is not the only reason that I married her. I actually married Cheryl the person, not just Cheryl the body. It is her personality that I really enjoy being around, (this is not to say that she is not pleasing to my eyes, because she is) her love of life and sense of humor really bring joy to my life.

I've often wondered about men who don't treat their wives with the respect that is due them as their wife. We are commanded in Scripture to give them honor as the weaker vessel. This is not to say that they are subservient to us, or not as good as us, but we are to treat them delicately like we would a piece of fine China. They are precious to us, and we have to remember that daily.

Men, if you haven't been treating your wife the best, then I would suggest that you begin to do so today. Think of ways that would make her happy, then go and do those things. Show her that she is the most important thing to you next to God. You'll be glad you did! Loving our wife should be the foremost thing in our thoughts each day, right after how we can please our God, and loving your bride pleases Him greatly!