In most of the fairy tales you will find that the beautiful young maiden is typically captured and placed under lock and key in some sort of prison by an ugly scag that hates her for her beauty. This is not too far off from what we would see if we could look into the spirit realm I think.We have an enemy, he's as old as time itself and he hates women with a passion. I believe that one of the reasons that satan hated Eve so much was that she reminded him of what he had lost. After all, he was the most beautiful of all of God's creation until iniquity was found in him. So just like the evil women who hate the beauty in all of those stories, that theme is just borrowed from the bigger story that God has been telling all along.
I have been married for close to 24 years, and in all of that time my bride has rolled her eyes at me when I tell her of how beautiful that she is to me. She has made too many comments about physical imperfections (as perceived by her, not me) since I have known her and truthfully it has been a source of irritation for me and caused a little conflict from time to time in our relationship.
I was thinking about just this thing the other day when I heard a man complaining about his wife and how she had just let herself go, and didn't do anything to make herself attractive to him. As I thought on this, I was amazed and baffled to think that this man who had married a girl, now after a few years said that he couldn't stand the sight of her.
My bride is as beautiful to me today, as she was the day she walked down that aisle to take my name. I didn't actually think that it was really possible to be more in love with her than I was back then, but my love for her has grown more than I ever realized it could. When she appeared in her wedding gown, she took my breath away, and has been doing that ever since. Now some of you "realists" that are reading this may say, yeah but she doesn't she look different than she did all those years ago? Yes, but I don't look the same as I did back then either. Nobody ages without changes taking place, but you see it's not just the physical aspect of her that I love, and it never was.
Change is inevitable, it stalks us like a predator and if all we base our relationships on is how we look, then we'll be set up to take a fall as the years go by. This is not to say that I don't love the way my bride looks today, I do, and yes, she still takes my breath away. In Scripture God instructs the husband to wash his bride with the water of the Word. (Ephesians 5:26) We husbands would do a great thing if we would begin to speak words of life to our brides, because she will only be as beautiful as you make her with your words. Because what you say to her and about her does matter.
As I said earlier, your bride already has an enemy whose heart is set against her. The devil talks incessantly to her about her looks and and where she is lacking in beauty and is blowing it as your wife. She needs you to tell her how much you admire and need her to help combat the evil thoughts that the enemy is throwing at her daily. Let me ask you, if you are saying derogatory things to your bride, how does that help her? That would be like she is trapped in a tower by the enemy, and you ride up on your horse and begin to hurl insults at her instead of trying to rescue her. Doesn't that seem a little be ridiculous?
You need to be her knight in shining armor. She needs you to protect and rescue her from the enemy, not aid him in tearing her self esteem down. When has criticism ever helped to bring about healing or restoration? I'm often amazed to hear people say, "Well I just don't love her anymore." People, love is a decision that you make. You decide to love someone despite any of their faults. You love someone through their shortcomings and help them to become a better person. I'm thankful that my bride has done that for me, and I will gladly do that for her.
Men, let's love our brides in such a way that the attacks of the enemy bounce off of them and they truly come to realize how important that they are to us? I mean after all if there are no fair maidens to rescue and dragons to slay, then we are just all dressed up for nothing. Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!
